Joe has gone. Doesn't that just sound ridiculous?

I can't quite explain how I am feeling.

Sad. Shocked. Empty.

At 7.25GMT on the morning of 28th December 2007, Joe Holmberg died.

Despite my constant outbursts of "What goes round, comes around", "Life is what you make it", "Life doesn't land on your step all rosy and happy and wonderful, you live each day and make it that way" etc etc etc...I just can't get my head around this.

How did this happen? I realise that life isn't always fair, but this is way beyond that.

The fact that someone as wonderful as Joe has gone.

I feel selfish for feeling so sad. What about his wonderful partner, Emilie, his parents, his siblings and his close friends? They have the right to feel this way...I don't.

I have a tormenting feeling of regret. I called Joe and he told me that his progosis wasn't good. I decided to leave it a little while and call him in January. I wanted to give him space and privacy.

I left it too late.

Joe is gone.

If you want to tell someone how wonderful you think they are, do it now.

Tomorrow may be a day too late.