A Lost, Fabulous Weekend

It's incredibly hard to know where to begin the story of my weekend. I only know some of it myself, so i'll try to piece together what I remember, what I have been told and what the evidence tells me.

The items that I have found as a result of the weekend:

• A stripey metal pole
• A man's polo shirt (size xxl)
• 7 phone numbers (3 men I remember, 2 girls I found out later, the other 2 remain unknown)

It started with a festival in Hove called 'Paddle Round the Pier'. It's a weekend of fun and frolics where the surfer-types and crazy-types head for sunny Hove to launch any floating crafts and race between the two piers. The event itself was fabulous, but a little bit of a wash out as it was really windy. That certainly didn't stop my fun. Or so i'm told.

We met at the beach at 8am on Saturday to watch a couple of my friends take part in a swimming competition. After that, we headed into town and I spent £70 on fancy dress in a moment of excitement (many pars of sunglasses, 2 playsuits, a pink flower, a pink hat, pink linen trousers, a bikini and a few other sundries). 

I then went home, dressed up in my bikini, the pink linen trousers, the pink straw trilby hat and a pair of pink wings. Perfect beach wear. I packed up a giant inflatible boat, 10 pairs of sunglasses, a pair of pink stilletto boots, a spare bikini and a couple of other outfits. All perfect for the beach. A group of us then headed down to the beach, loaded with cider (classy) and the fun began.

We started to drink and turned the music up. Our group grew and grew until there was a fabulous crowd of us, sporting my fancy dress, having a wonderful time. I then went to have my boat blown up at the local kids shop, and returned with the telephone number of a 34 year old Spanish guy. Everyone fell about laughing and said only I could pull in a kids shop. What can I say: I am on an unfathomable roll right now. 

We continued to drink and this is where my memory starts to linger. I think it's probably best if I bullet point the rest:

• Hire a kayak and hit the high seas (wearing fancy dress and false eyelashes)
• Arrange for everyone to come for a BBQ at my house
• Pull girl in from the street and go to the pub with her (wearing fancy dress)

The next section is filled in by a friend of mine when I said I think I remember seeing her in the pub:

"Yes my love, you were proper 'festival' wearing a cowboy hat and a hoodie which you knew not where it originated from. You flirted bit with my fit but thick date which I tried to palm off on you which may have worked but you then asked him repeatedly for a quid saying 'don't be tight' which then you promptly handed it over to a small African man who was selling what can only be described as a large multi-coloured stick..... you gave him your flip sunglasses too in exchange for the stick. All this was done whilst wearing 17inch black heels. You a legend xx"
 
Now I do indeed have the stick and I also remember a jumper. The next bit is again a blur but apparently there was a party at my house. I think everyone left or fell asleep and I went out at 4am to find another friend. 

When I eventually found her, she was in a kebab shop and we pulled two guys and invited them back to her house. I think we also served kebabs from behind the counter, but that may be a dream (or a nightmare). 

I remember being in my friend's house for a short while and telling the boys we had pulled that I thought they were boring. Out of the window, I spotted a party in the house opposite and shouted across asking if I could come. They said yes, and off I went, leaving my friends and the two guys behind. 

I grabbed a Steps CD and went to their party (we'll call him No:14 for now as I can't remember his name but 14 was either his house or flat number). I burst into the flat with CD, turn his music off, put mine on and sang into a wooden spoon I find in his kitchen for a couple of hours. I then convince them all to come and help me carry my boat down to the beach so that we can all go in. We get to the beach, they get the boat out (not yet inflated) and I lie down on it and fall asleep. I'm told it's about 11am on Sunday when I fall asleep on the beach.

I woke up, realise i'm on the beach and want to go home. I've loat my keys, my iPhone and my mind. No 14 walks me home and we snog. My neighbour then has to let me in and I sleep for the rest of the day.

In the midst of all this, there's a story about the man that 'stole' my phone, a man snogged, keys re-found...all in all, it was a rip-roarer of a weekend and strangely, I am suddenly having the time of my life. I feel elated, happy, i'm having fun, and I don't know where it all came from.

All I need now, is someone fabulous to share it with.

Or do I?!