Alternative Uses for a Boiler

So, unbelievably, the boiler man came 2 hours early for my British Gas annual safety check.

I was in a towel, wet hair, face mask on...wonderful. The man (he was a very nice man), serviced boiler (but sadly not me) and left. Before he left me, he informed me that it's a serious fire risk to plug 7 plugs into one wall socket (ERR WELL WHAT ARE ADAPTERS FOR THEN???) and that the light should be hanging by more than one electric wire. Nonsense, it's been fine for 5 years.

Anyway, tonight I went to run hot water and guess what? It's COLD! So I call British Gas...press 1 for this, 2 for that...great, now press 1 for this, 2 for that...by the time I got through I was steaming. Huffing and puffing down phone saying he had broke boiler...the man replies:

"Have you switched it on"

I say:

"On? Of course not, all of the flipping lights are out, how can I switch it on???"

He says:

"At the wall, Madam"

I say:

"The boiler isn't plugged into anything - it's gas! (Stupid man)"

He says:

"The boiler is plugged in Madam, it's hard wired into a socket so you can switch it on to work"

So I say i'll have a look (totally not expecting to find a plug...)...

"Whoopsie...that switch was hidden by my onions..."

He replies:

"You hand your onions on your boiler???"

I hung up very quickly, I think I need a husband...fast.

My Bedside Table

There is a photo of my God son on my bedside table. He's with his big brother and I adore it. It's black and white and they both look beautiful on it. It's one of my treasured possessions.

My dilemma is this: I'm single and I sometimes bring men in my life back to my place for a day/ night of unbridled passion. When I wake up the next day, I see this beautiful photo and I think to myself: I hope you didn't see that....

Is it wrong to have that photo on my bedside table? It's not as if they are actually there, is it?